I did a double take when I read the following on the Chippewa Herald's site:
Chippewa Falls Girl Born to Show Cows at Fair
This girl's parents ought to complain to the Herald. Or moo or something.
Posted by Karline
Thanks to everyone who came out to the pillow fight last night. All of us here at V1 had a blast, and we hope you did too. If you have any good pictures (or video) from the event, send 'em our way – we’d love to see them. The picture above was taken by Frank H. Robinson. Click “continue reading” below to see more from Frank, of click over to his pillow fight Flickr set.
Big huge giant enormous comically oversized thanks to Stella Blues, Kaleidoscope Entertainment (thanks Jamey), Market & Johnson, Melting Pot Prints, and Huebsch Services for all the big huge help. See you next year!
Posted by Mike
This evening's feathery festivities are totally on. Yesterday's round of snowfall will do nothing to damper the event, especially since the City of Eau Claire has lent us their giant magnifying glass, concentrating today's sunny sunshine into a focused beam of snow-vaporizing energy, totally removing the frosty stuff from the Stella Blues parking lot. But seriously, the temperature is climbing (forecast: 40 degrees), the sun is shining, and Volume One is ready to pillow fight with you all night long. And by "all night long," we mean "for five minutes."
One thing we've been forgetting to mention in ads and such – we're giving away prizes for the best pillow case, and the best costume, so come prepared, people. Dress up. Have fun. Go nuts. And if you have any questions prior to the event, simply walk up to one of Volume One's friendly, certified, and totally credible Pillow Inspectors. They are there to assist you.
And remember: the April Fool's Day Pillow Fight is a great way to blow off steam before or after you vote.
April Fools’ Day Pillow Fight • Tuesday, April 1 • Stella Blues parking lot, corner of Madison and Forest streets • 6pm • FREE • ALL AGES • 552-045
Posted by Mike
From the Leader-Telegram's intrepid assistant local news editor, Jerry Poling:
A new Prohibition referendum question is being prepared for a special vote in May in Eau Claire County. Unlike at today's local elections, expect a huge turnout in May.
The May question will read something like this: "Should all alcoholic consumption be banned in Eau Claire County for the next 13 years in accordance with the Prohibition Act of 1920 and the resulting enactment of the act until 1933?"
What the referendum question doesn't say is this: If the county doesn't vote with the majority this time and give up drinking until 2021, it will stand to lose state and federal funding, threatening the loss of significant sums of money or worse.
Yikes! Read the whole thing here.
Posted by Karline
In its third year, Volume One’s April Fools’ Day Pillow Fight is likely to bring out a wide assortment of fun-loving folks for another five minutes of feathery fury. There are moms and dads and their kids, there are middle and high school and college students, there are post-college professionals and “rejuveniles,” and then there are the rest of them, “just there to watch.” That’s because it makes for quite the spectacle. Once the whistle blows, the music is blasting, the cameras are rolling, and a few hundred pillows go on the offensive in plain view of the rest of downtown Eau Claire ... well, yeah, it gets some attention. As always, we’re hoping for decent weather and a record crowd for the event, which goes down at 6pm sharp. We’ve moved it a block west this go-around (since they decided that a building might be a better use of the dirt lot we used the last two years), and we’re setting up shop for the day in the official Stella Blues parking lot on the corner of Madison and Forest streets, across from the farmers market. The key here is to spread the word. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your neighbors. Then grab a nice, fluffy pillow and get ready for some soft, feathery combat in this once-a-year celebration of foolishness.
April Fools’ Day Pillow Fight • Tuesday, April 1 • Stella Blues parking lot, corner of Madison and Forest streets • 6pm • FREE • ALL AGES • 552-045
Posted by Nick
Okay, a lot of us in Eau Claire are currently following the relative rocketship career that local Justin Vernon is suddenly having with his new project, Bon Iver. The dude cannot be stopped. A major tour, big festival appearances, getting nation-wide airplay, featured in rave reviews, magazine spreads, radio interviews – the list goes on and on. He's undoubtedly already Eau Claire's biggest music scene success story in quite some time and the Jagjaguwar album, For Emma Forever Ago, has only been out about a month. Every last bit of this is awesome – his local family is cheering him on all the way. But for those of us who know him (and many in this town do) you just HAVE to stop and take stock of the hilarity of parts of this situation:
FADER magazine recently produced a short video interview with Justin – a video where you watch him get a massage and talk about himself. For seven minutes. You don't even see the guy’s face. It’s amazing. A video of a pasty-white, half-naked man with a Midwestern drawl must certainly say something about the state of indie rock (and celebrity) in America – but what, I don’t know. Justin, we love you, but this is really funny. Good luck out there.
BONUS VIDEO FUN FACT: Vernon says the word “like,” like 76 times. That’s about one every 10 seconds. It peaks somewhere in the middle.
Just announced: Bon Iver is playing The Current's (Minnesota Public Radio) Rock the Garden event at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis on June 21 with some serious talent: Andrew Bird, The New Pornographers, and Cloud Cult. Tickets are on sale.
Posted by Nick
In honor of the three year anniversary of Volume One's big April Fools' Day joke about big-time movie stars coming to Oakwood Mall, we've put together a little video documenting the joke, the fallout, the calls we got about it, and the media coverage it received from TV18. Enjoy ...
And don't forgot about this year's April Fools' Day Pillow Fight. See the right sidebar (at the top) for details. See last year's carnage here.
Posted by Mike
Hey! Remember when Volume One entered Chi High's Mascot Race? Of course you do. Well, now you can relive the heroic feats and awkward moments of that amazing day through the power of video – a video slapped hastily together by Volume One's resident film editing expert. Note: crank the volume to its highest level if you wish to experience full-tilt inspiration. Other note: this is a great video to watch before competing in an important sporting event.
Posted by Nick
Local thugz.
WEAU.com has got the scoop on some proposed state legislation that could finally spark the inevitable Amish Revolution:
New Law Would Require Amish To Register Buggies
A proposed state law would require buggies to have plates on their vehicles.
Representative Joan Ballweg has requested a draft of legislation that would create a law requiring buggies to be registered with the state.
Ballweg says a fee would be imposed on any animal drawn vehicle that travels on roadways. She says the decision would lie with each county or local government, and the money raised by the registration fees would stay in the county or municipality, to be used for transportation funding.
Ballweg introduced a similar bill in 2005. Link.
Seriously, I think we should tread lightly around our Amish neighbors because when mass blackouts engulf the country, and American society comes to a grinding halt, and our reliance on technology and oil and Big Macs and Dancing with the Stars finally bites us in the ass, the Amish will be our grand leaders.
Posted by Mike
NOTE: I posted this last year. It's still awesome.
Still need a Halloween costume? With the recent surge in popularity ironic hipness of Chuck Norris, he seems like an easy choice. But before you take this awesome idea and run with it, I just wanted to let you know that Yours Truly had the idea way back before Mr. Norris was cool again. Yes, I’ve been with Chuck from the beginning, as evidenced by the incredible picture above. Notice the crouching, tiger-like pose ... the crazed, I will kick you in your ugly face look in my eyes ... the Velcro Kangaroos with the pockets on the side. (I probably had an image like this in my head.) This how you do it, folks. This is Halloween.
Posted by Mike
Volume One’s Internet Ethics Correspondent Davin emailed in with the following revelation ...
The online world has had a falling out with the honest joe. Everything has become a joke, has some hidden meaning, or wants to take your hard earned money. Every other web page is a blatant lie. It is getting so decent folk cannot surf anymore. But there is hope! Scattered amongst the refuse and rubbish are strongholds of integrity, utopias of the upright and true. One such domain is www.catsinsinks.com. No crude innuendo or misrepresentation, this site delivers on its promise. Take a moment to stroll down the information superhighway of a more simple time.
Thanks, Davin!
Posted by Mike
Seriously, do yourself a favor and click here to listen to pop songs about Sputnik, which launched 50 years ago today. Like this:
Now, listen Mr. Khrushchev, I heard a lot of talk / About the satellite and missiles and the president's fault / You'd better listen to what I got to say / The things I'm gonna tell you, are gonna make your hair turn gray / I got a satellite baby with a red hot style that's new / Well, she got more speed than Sputnik No. 2.
Posted by Karline
Here’s a great little picture gallery of odd festivals and holidays from around the globe. Shown here: The Chap & Hendrick's Olympics of Bedford Square Gardens, England.
Posted by Mike
Here’s an amazing assortment of Super Crazy Fun Links from around the internet. Happy Friday ...
• Watch this hilarious 1960’s TV commercial for Mattel's Tommy Burst submachine gun detective set. Blam!
• Peep these amazing examples of an underrated art genre: the sandwich sculpture.
• Marvel and cringe at this gallery of anatomical-ish tattoos.
• Guffaw at this side-splitting picture.
• Learn how to crochet your very own Darth Vader/Beer Can helmet.
• Ogle this dude’s 535 ft. Slip 'n Slide of blinding awesomeness.
• Sit back, relax, and feel your jaw drop as you watch this disgusting retro Taco Bell TV commercial.
Posted by Mike
Looking for a little distraction today? Volume One contributor Trevor “The Waterslide King of Wisconsin” Kupfer emailed in with a tasty link. The King says ...
The town that inspired Silent Hill and Nothing But Trouble is crazy. Link.
Well said, Trevor. You all should check out the link – it’s about a ghost town in Pennsylvania that rests upon an inextinguishable underground coal fire. Weird stuff. And the descriptions are funny.
Posted by Mike
Here’s a little Friday fun for y’all – a small gallery of real US patents filed by celebrities, complete with links to the full patent application. Shown here is Eddie Van Halen’s “musical instrument support.” You’ll also see Harry Houdini’s design for a diver’s suit, George Lucas’s Yoda toy, and Prince’s keytar. And Michael Jackson’s “method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion.” Fun stuff.
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Posted by Mike
Someone’s got some free time. You need to have a nice, fat internet connection to enjoy this, but check out some clever Brady Bunch action, right here!
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Posted by Mike
With this new Transformers movie out, many of us dudes are bragging about how many Transformers we used to own. Well, this man is our king.
Posted by Mike
What's up with the inflatable Titanic ride where you slide down the deck of a sinking passenger liner? In 1918, six years after the Titanic sank, this inflatable ride would be today's equivalent to the Twin Towers Free Fall ride, which I hope never exists.
Posted by Jeremy
OK, I’m gonna geek out, here. I’ve been sitting on this little video clip for a few years, and today, I’m pulling it out for you, dear friends. I’m not sure about the back story, so I’ll make one up: Some awesome guy calling himself “Nitro” goes to an air guitar competition and pulls out the most amazing air drum solo in the history of air instrumentals, recreating Rush’s epic 1981 arena hit Tom Sawyer. And the crowd goes wild. Neal Peart would be rolling in his grave from shame. If he were dead. Which he’s not. Still rocking the giant drum kit, he is.
Seriously – the double bass action. It’s amazing. I totally just iTunesed that song because it Rawks. So. Hard.
Happy Friday!
Posted by Mike
Hot on the heels of Michelle’s disgusting recipe cards, we bring you “Suicide Food.” It’s a gallery of restaurant and product logos featuring cute animals that ... want to be eaten. Many seem insanely delighted to cook themselves for you. In some cases, the animals want to eat themselves. And check out this one. All this reminds me of the cute ceramic deer dressed up as a hunter that my parents have in their den. This world is a crazy place.
Posted by Mike
VolumeOne.org reader/gross-looking food fanatic Michelle sent us a link to an amazing online gallery of Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. The pictures of the food are hideously awesome, and the descriptions (written by the fantastic Wendy McClure) will shiver your timbers, which here means “make you laugh,” I guess.
Go look now. Enjoy.
Posted by Mike
This is the funniest thing I've seen in, like, eight years.
Posted by Mike
For a number of years, people have been using Post-It Notes to create huge pictures on walls and windows – usually depicting scenes from old school video games and other low-res pixel-based artwork. I’ve been hoping someone around Eau Claire would do it, but I guess the area doesn’t foster enough over-the-top love for Pac-Man. Oh, well. Here’s another fine example of the Post-It Note technique from some nutty folks at UCSC: Donkey Kong!
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Posted by Mike
People, I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. You just gotta check out the website for Eric Staller’s whacky-ass ConferenceBike. Click here now! The bike contraption can accommodate seven people, all of whom pedal the thing whilst facing each other. Seriously, watch the video. The website itself is pretty hilarious – weird and kitschy but entirely serious and totally charming. Here’s some amazing ad copy:
EVERYONE who rides a ConferenceBike lights up smiling!
It’s not just a bike: It’s a PARTY ON WHEELS!
The ConferenceBike is now being enjoyed by diverse groups all over the world. It is a TOUR BIKE in Berlin, a TOOL for corporate team-building in London. It’s a way for the BLIND to bike in Dublin, and for SENIORS to exercise in New York. It’s a RENTAL BIKE in cities and a way to get around THEME PARKS worldwide.
This bicycle is AWESOME. I wish we HAD ONE in Eau Claire! I’d ROCK THAT THING up and down the street ALL DAMN DAY. ConferenceBike is truly OUTRAGEOUS.
Posted by Mike
In Volume One's inaugural kickball season, the team had heart, the team had determination, the team had matching t-shirts and a can-do attitude. They lacked only one thing: wins. As spring training camp opens for kickball teams all over the United States, the Volume One Gym Class Dropouts are asking themselves a lot of questions, but one question rises above the rest: What happened? Volume One Magazine caught up with team Volume One in a small town in central Florida for some answers that may surprise and titillate you ...
Posted by Ian
I've been saying for years that we are on the threshold of having superheroes. We have parkour, we have karate, we have tasers and police scanners – someone should start mixing these together! Well guess what? Now we have flying dudes. European flying dudes. Check it out. Now there's no excuse not to find Bin Laden. Get crackin' super friends!
Posted by Ian
A news program in St. Louis was filming a lovely segment on eagles. But unfortunately, wireless mic problems rendered most of the audio unusable. So the enterprising (and freaking hilarious) cameraman composed a beautiful piece of music called “Eagles are Awesome” to fill the audio track. Seriously – check it out.
Posted by Mike
Here are some false starts to novels...
The ghosts of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King had killed again.
John had erectile dysfunction.
It all started with a plan and a shoe ... actually more of a strappy sandal.
Leave a comment and add your own!
Posted by Ian
VolumeOne.org reader/body hair-lover Krista emailed in to say the following...
I think you guys should help to bring back the mustache in Eau Claire. There are some awesome websites out there. Maybe a club? Maybe a mustache contest?
Thanks for the links, Krista! So, how about it, stache-growers of Eau Claire? Anyone up for a friendly mustache competition?
Posted by Mike
Check out this response from heavy metal band Eagles of Death Metal after opening for Guns N' Roses and subsequently getting badmouthed by Axl Rose:
"At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city," the Eagles said in a statement. "Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the EODM night train. We say live and let die."
Hilarious. Read the whole article on vita.mn.
Posted by Mike
In case you haven't seen this, it's a gallery kids having not-so-jolly encounters with Santa Claus. Thanks to everyone who emailed in about this. This one is my favorite.
Posted by Mike
VolumeOne.org/seafood lover Jessi emailed in with a hot tip on a holiday gift idea from Japan...
For the person who has exhausted the Volume One shop – who could resist writing on fish skin? Link.
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Follow the link. Not sure if you actually write upon the dried squid of if you just get a salty squid snack along with a notepad. Here’s the completely unhelpful (unless you can read Japanese) product page.
Thanks, Jessi!
Posted by Mike
What I learned from reading Monday’s police blotter in the Leader-Telegram...
Drunk people forget that most traffic signs are anchored in cement.
Vandal’s who write “Ham Bones Live in the Dream (expletive) the Police” on cop cars are wasting their precious talent on unappreciative eyes.
The ECPD likes to use fingernail polish remover when removing squad car graffiti.
Wal-Mart shopping carts are flammable.
People really do have fights with broken beer bottles.
Don’t mess with the new girlfriend of your sister’s ex-boyfriend.
Yo, knowledge is power.
Posted by Mike
Still need a Halloween costume? With the recent surge in popularity ironic hipness of Chuck Norris, he seems like an easy choice. But before you take this awesome idea and run with it, I just wanted to let you know that Yours Truly had the idea way back before Mr. Norris was cool again. Yes, I’ve been with Chuck from the beginning, as evidenced by the incredible picture above. If you perused the Rear End column in the Oct 26 issue – this is the costume I was talking about, makeup and all. Notice the crouching, tiger-like pose... the crazed, I will kick you in your ugly face look in my eyes... the Velcro Kangaroos with the pockets on the side. (I probably had an image like this in my head.) This how you do it, folks. This is Halloween.
Posted by Mike
Got your Halloween costume all picked out? No? Well, hurry up, Lazy Larry! You’ve probably got plenty of time to construct this Rubik’s Cube Costume before the 31st. Get going!
Posted by Mike
We’re gonna throw another video at your face, here. Check out this horrific fright fest directed by former Chippewavallian Aaron Yonda (of Splu Urtaf fame).
Posted by Mike
| HowManyOfMe.com | ||
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Using the aptly-named website www.HowManyOfMe.com, I have learned there are 59 people in the United States who share my name. But I suppose you could have figured that out just by reading the swanky little box above. Well, what you probably don’t know is this: my first name is statistically the 4th most popular name in the U.S., while my last name is ranked 7561st most popular, tying with 72 other last names. Oh, what fun we have on the internet.
Posted by Mike
VolumeOne.org reader/chainsaw-owner Derek alerted us to the presence of this terrific movie where album covers do battle. Thanks, Derek!
Posted by Mike
Remember Cthulhu, the ancient harbinger of the apocalypse? Well guess what – here's his TV call in show!
Posted by Ian
One of the most blatant signs your pet pooch will one day rise up and help overthrow our human-led society: doggie Halloween costumes. With recent breakthroughs in fabric/strap/harness technology, just about anything is possible – as evidenced by these too-damn-cute Star Wars getups. They’re perfect for the holiday-, dog-, and Yoda-lovers out there who enjoy getting laughed at.
Posted by Mike
Just a quick note about International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2006: It's today! Astute VolumeOne.org reader/land-lubber Michelle alerted us to today’s salty goodness. Look here for considerably more information than you need, including a small "how to" section. Now you can spend all day practicing yer bloody pirate accent, me hearties.
On a serious note, as Talk Like a Pirate Day has grown in popularity, so have Pirate vs. Ninja conflicts. For more information, look here, here, and here.
Posted by Mike
This is totally the beginning of a so-so X-Files episode, I swear. From an Associated Press article…
To the bafflement of insect experts, gigantic yellow jacket nests have started turning up in old barns, unoccupied houses, cars and underground cavities across the southern two-thirds of Alabama.
Specialists say it could be the result of a mild winter and drought conditions, or multiple queens forcing worker yellow jackets to enlarge their quarters so the queens will be in separate areas. But experts haven't determined exactly what's behind the surprisingly large nests.
Auburn University entomologists, who say they've never seen the nests so large, have been fielding calls about the huge nests from property owners from Dothan up to Sylacauga and over into west-central Alabama's Black Belt.
At one site in Barbour County, the nest was as large as a Volkswagen Beetle… Read more.
In some cases, these nests have 12 queens and engulf the insides of abandoned cars. Freaky.
Posted by Mike
Hey—for six bucks, you can order up a bottle of Heinz with a customized message on the label. Truly, the future of condiment technology is now.
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Posted by Mike
You can blather on all you want about the Chippewa Valley’s music scene—about how it sucks, how it’s awesome, how you just discovered it, how it needs more Eighties hair bands, etc.—but before you get too revved up, consider this: people have been discussing the music scene, probably talking the exact same smack, since at least the Sixties. Want proof? Behold…
Yep. Tongue. You’re looking at the cover to a self-titled, 12-inch LP from 1969—produced by an Eau Claire-based psychedelic rock band. VolumeOne.org reader Kevin found this “100% virgin vinyl” gem being auctioned off on eBay by some dude in Muskego. (The auction has since closed—after you click, scroll down to see the goods.) Kevin says, “It may be too late for this season, but for the 2007 Phark concert series, I'd sure like to see a reunion show from these guys.”
I think that goes without saying, Kevin—thanks! If anyone has any info on these dreamboats, let us know.
Posted by Mike
In accordance with VolumeOne.org’s mission to provide you with the skills you need to live, thrive, and survive in the fast-paced, do-or-die urban jungle known as “The Chippewa Valley,” we bring you wikiHow.com’s How to Survive a Freestyle Rap Battle. This is your indispensable guide to enduring life’s inevitable hip-hop skirmishes.
Check out step #3:
Start writing rhymes. Write down anything that comes to mind and try to rhyme it. Using your emotions is a good way to describe what you're feeling when you spit or write lyrics. Make sure you eat a hearty meal before attempting a battle.
Now you can spit dope verse with confidence and panache. You are welcome.
VolumeOne.org reader/master-linker Aryn emailed in with a hilarious video mash-up. Aryn says, “Just a reminder that James Earl Jones was in other movies besides Star Wars... yet all the lines still work.” Check it out.
Posted by Mike
VolumeOne.org reader/extreme careerist Aryn emailed in with a tasty link. He says, “Bask in this little sojourn through the past. History comes alive as we explore The Worst Jobs Ever: UK Edition.” It’s a breakdown of awful jobs throughout major historical eras. Such as this gem from the Medieval period…
Fuller
The 13th century is boom time for the wool trade. With three sheep to every man, woman and child, wool is our biggest export. But nobody likes stiff and itchy cloth that falls to pieces, so we have several openings for fullers.
As a fuller, you are expected to walk up and down all day in huge vats of stinking stale urine. The ammonia produced by the rotten wee may make your eyes water, but it creates the softest cloth by drawing out the grease (lanolin) from the wool. If you can dance up to your knees in urine for around two hours per length of cloth, you'll succeed in closing the fibres of the wool and interlocking them to produce cloth that is kind to the skin. You will be doing your part, along with the weavers, dyers and merchants, in making it a world-beating export.
You may stink and regularly have to fight back the urge to throw up, but you are guaranteed very clean toenails. Read more.
I guess it wasn’t all turkey legs and henna tattoos back then. Thanks, Aryn!
Posted by Mike
To add to our global warming discussion, here is an article that would be funny if the situation weren't so depressing. From National Geographic News...
From rising sea levels to stifling heat waves, the effects of global warming are shaping up to be a worldwide buzz kill.
But brewers in Greenland seem to be going with the flow, having found a new use for one of their homeland's fastest growing—but least celebrated—natural resources: melted Arctic ice.
On July 31 a team of canny entrepreneurs unveiled Greenland Beer, an ale brewed with water melted from Greenland's ice cap, at a public tasting in Copenhagen, Denmark.
Staffed by indigenous Greenlanders and located some 390 miles (625 kilometers) south of the Arctic Circle, Greenland Brewhouse is the world's first Inuit microbrewery. Read more.
I wonder if Al has tried it yet...
Posted by Sarah
You should check out this one website chock full of fun, little videos showing people around the nation voicing distain towards Hummers… in their own, unique way. Just click yourself on over to www.ihumpedyourhummer.com
Posted by Mike
You guys have all seen that HeadOn commercial, right? You know, the one that goes on just a little too long, and makes you think you’ve entered a time loop from which you’ll never escape? I had been meaning to write a post about the general annoyance factor of HeadOn’s commercial, but then it started getting featured on news programs, and I thought “Forget it. Old news.”
Until today.
You all must go immediately to this blog called Classic Jef. Go! For your entertainment, Jeff provides not only the HeadOn commercial (and 2 others like it), but also a link to my new favorite song. Evidently some guy in Chicago has been so moved by the HeadOn product, he was compelled to give the world a song about it. Thank you, some guy in Chicago, thank you so much.
Posted by Shannon
Hey! In honor of the big ol’ music festival starting today, we decided to create a very special, beautifully designed V1 souvenir of complete awesomeness. Behold: the Volume One Country Jam Edition T-Shirt! For only $18.50, you can buy and wear this thing. We’ve only produced a small number of these gorgeous garments, so act fast. We’re totally serious!*
*No we are not.
VolumeOne.org reader/weblink machine Aryn emailed in to point us at a crazy internet video. Aryn says, “I don't know how else to explain this except that this guy totally stole my idea.” Just watch!
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Posted by Mike
VolumeOne.org reader/Kelly Kapowski fan club president Todd told us about some shocking news. First of all, Saved By the Bell's Screech (actor Dustin Diamond) lives in Wisconsin. Shocking! And secondly, the poor out-of-work actor is loosing his $250,000 house and wants you to help him pay for it. Double shocking! From some TV station in Milwaukee...
Actor Dustin Diamond says he has to raise $250,000 to save his Port Washington home from foreclosure.
So he's selling t-shirts that say "I Paid $15.00 To Save Screeech's House."
"Screeech" is spelled with 3 E's to avoid any copyright infringements to the character Diamond played on the NBC show "Saved by the Bell."
In a telephone interview Diamond said, "I don't drive around in a Ferrari. I'm not living in Beverly Hills in LA. I'm livin' in Wisconsin in a sleepy fish town that's perfect, I would have it no other way. It's my speed, they're my people, and it's my home. Wisconsin is home."
Check out Diamond's website. Best quote from the site: "First we rallied to Free Wynona [sic]. The next time we Voted For Pedro. This time we'll Save Screeech's House!" I'm not sure we will, Dusty. I'm not sure we will.
Posted by Mike
Evidently, there were people living in the grand canyon 8,000 years ago. Neat! Also, did you know that Grand Canyon National Park is the size of Delaware? Anyone? Well, anyone? Here's an interesting Smithsonian article that proves Grand Canyon National Park was attracting hippies and nature lovers 6,000 years before baby Jesus was even a twinkle in a deity's eye. Fun!
Posted by Ian
In Mike's last column (June 8th issue), he talked about people becoming more involved in the community. Specifically, he talked about city council meetings. Maybe if our city council meetings were like this, I'd be more inclined to go. Take a look!
Posted by Ian
This video is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen—and I’ve been to Mount Horeb, WI's Mustard Museum. Someone took video and audio clips from what must be hundreds of Bush speeches and edited them together so he sings U2’s Sunday, Bloody Sunday. I could watch it all damn day.
Posted by Mike
OK, see if you can keep up: the drivers for a pizza delivery place in Minneapolis dress up like tights-sporting superheroes, and one of these underwear clad pizza-guys pleasantly surprised a woman by chasing down the dude who stole her purse. Got it? From Channel 5 Eyewitness News...
"I heard footsteps behind me, and I stopped to turn...," Teresa said.
A strange man grabbed for Teresa's purse...they struggled. The man eventually got the purse and took off.
What followed had Teresa doing a double-take—In a flash, someone was giving chase to the robber.
"He had on a white tunic, a beige leotard, and tights and boots," Teresa explained. The man was also wearing a cape. Read more.
And get this! The pizza joint (called "Galactic Pizza") uses electric cars for delivery and runs their pizza ovens on wind power. Holy social consciousness, Batman!
Posted by Mike
What's up, golfers of all shapes, sizes, and levels of talent? Check out this crazy video of pro golfer Fuzzy Zoeller's insanely weird hole in one. The ball seems to stand still for 10 seconds before rolling into the hole.
Posted by Mike
You'll find plenty of sage advice in this eBay Guide on "How To Win Something In A Claw Machine." Just think: if you get really good, you could shave hundreds of dollars off your monthly stuffed animal bill.
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Posted by Shannon
OK, we need to stick a little disclaimer on this particular video: When seen through the eyes of a reasonably sheltered child, it's just a another commercial for another stupid toy. But when seen through the eyes of a crass, cynical adult with the sense of humor of a frat boy... it's ridiculously lewd. That said, check out a commercial for the Super Soaker Oozinator—a squirt gun apparently designed by the props department of a sci-fi porn movie.
P.S. It's a real toy from Hasbro.
Posted by Mike
Tell you what—today is Video Wednesday! Lucky you! Here's an astonishing video of the world's finest illusionist. I promise you that nothing in this clip was altered digitally or faked in any way.
Posted by Mike
Check out this video that's been seen around the internet. It shows some spectacularly precise radio-controlled airplane flying—indoors.
Posted by Mike
www.himonkey.net has got to be the gosh darn cutest website I have ever seen in my whole life. Basically, you get to tag along with a little monkey as it runs around, doing all sorts of stuff—from attending a percussion concert to exploring the history of fortune cookies to preparing queso dip. It's so awesomely random. And there's all kinds of cute pictures and funny descriptions of what's happening. In the picture above, monkey has an avocado to make guacamole. Hi Monkey!</
